Fight

Sometimes things are worth fighting for even when the whole world tells you it isn't. Every person, every sign points to moving on because it's a lost cause. But deep down somewhere in your heart you know it's still worth it because it's the only thing you really want. You still have faith deep down somewhere in your heart, or at least enough faith to know to keep fighting. Fighting is the only option, no matter how much pain it causes daily. If the battle is won life will be forever good. So I fight, and always will, even though I hurt because of it every day.

Home?

I cannot wait until tomorrow when I get to go home. But at the same time, part of me knows that I will not return to college satisfied. I miss so many things about home. But there's a huge problem: "home" doesn't mean just my house and my family. Those things I know will be there for me. "Home" also means the way things used to be, the life that I had before I came to college. But when I go home most of the people I knew still won't even be back, and for many of those that I do see, it won't feel the same. I know I'm supposed to move on, stop thinking about the past, and focus on the present and the future. But when my past was so goddamn good it's hard not to spend at least part of everyday thinking about it and thinking about how I can get some of it back, because I know that some of the important parts I can get back, though not in exactly the same form. How? Well some work and a lot a lot of luck. But nonetheless, I still can't wait to get home, to feel loved by my family and hopefully by some others as well. I still can't wait for winter break and summer too, so I can get some of my old life back. But we gotta focus on the present right? Fine, I'll oblige, I'll try.

There's a song that's inside of my soul, it's the one that I've tried to write over and over again. Jon Foreman, that's how I feel right now. Hopefully the muses will let it out.

West Chester, Great Valley, Mom, Dad, Brian, pets, friends from home.... I'll begin seeing you all tomorrow, even though it'll only be for a quick breathe, I'll make sure it's a deep one.

Too Long

It has been way too long since I posted on here. I think it's because of the person I became for a while, a person who forgot who he really was. The fact that I'm here shows that I've remembered. And trust me, I will not ever forget again.
I'm a mathematics major, so I love math, and I always will. But I'm different than your typical math major, and I'm different than your typical football player. I have this odd heart inside of me, this odd heart that cares probably way too much for my own good. I have this odd heart that loves more than anything an intimate conversation between a small group of people, preferably just 2 people, about life and about the hardships within each heart. I have this odd heart that respects the words of Jon Foreman 100x times more than it respects the words of T.I. or Drake or whoever they are. I have this odd heart that loves to sing out in a bunch of different ways and it will be that way forever. And now, I'm not ever going to forget that I should let it sing out, and let it sing out to anyone who wants to listen.
My heart wants to talk to you, my heart wants to write on here, my heart wants to write songs, my heart wants to sing. Do you want to listen?