Home?

I cannot wait until tomorrow when I get to go home. But at the same time, part of me knows that I will not return to college satisfied. I miss so many things about home. But there's a huge problem: "home" doesn't mean just my house and my family. Those things I know will be there for me. "Home" also means the way things used to be, the life that I had before I came to college. But when I go home most of the people I knew still won't even be back, and for many of those that I do see, it won't feel the same. I know I'm supposed to move on, stop thinking about the past, and focus on the present and the future. But when my past was so goddamn good it's hard not to spend at least part of everyday thinking about it and thinking about how I can get some of it back, because I know that some of the important parts I can get back, though not in exactly the same form. How? Well some work and a lot a lot of luck. But nonetheless, I still can't wait to get home, to feel loved by my family and hopefully by some others as well. I still can't wait for winter break and summer too, so I can get some of my old life back. But we gotta focus on the present right? Fine, I'll oblige, I'll try.

There's a song that's inside of my soul, it's the one that I've tried to write over and over again. Jon Foreman, that's how I feel right now. Hopefully the muses will let it out.

West Chester, Great Valley, Mom, Dad, Brian, pets, friends from home.... I'll begin seeing you all tomorrow, even though it'll only be for a quick breathe, I'll make sure it's a deep one.